Jeremiah 31:3

” I have loved you with an everlasting LOVE.  I have drawn you with unfailing kindness” ~NIV

“Israel out looking for a place of rest, met God out looking for them! God told them I’ve never quit LOVING you and never will. Expect LOVE, LOVE and more LOVE”

~The Message

 (insert your name), out looking for a place to rest, met God looking for her! God told her I have LOVED you with an everlasting LOVE. I have never quit LOVING you and never will. Expect LOVE, LOVE always and more LOVE.

~Personalized version. 

Isaiah 49:16 “you are engraved on the palm of my hands” NIV

Engraved on the palm of His hands just as the names of the tribes of Israel were engraved on the stone and fastened to the Ephod of the high priest as memorial before the Lord in the tabernacle. My name is engraved on the palm of God’s hands!

I am not just a random face amongst the millions that live on Earth. I am not left here battling, fighting my way through this world full of dragons that need to be slayed. God has not forgotten me, left me alone because I have messed up so much this time, that I am unforgivable. I am not just a number to God. I am His. I am on His palm. He knows me inside and out. He knows how many hairs are only head. He knows the thoughts in my mind, that I can’t verbalize or express. He knows the broken pieces of my shattered heart. He knows the gaping wounds that I keep searching for someone to fill. He knows the baggage I carry on my back and how tired I am becoming trying to be everything for everyone. Or how I put a smile on my face and pretend that this baggage isn’t weighing me down. He knows how far I have traveled with this baggage. He knows every piece of the maze  I have walked. It’s Him, who brings me back to His word. The Word He wrote for me. The Word, where He whispers in my ear constantly “I AM LOVE” It’s not just that He LOVES me, but He is LOVE. Can you grasp this concept? Can I? Today, when life is great we all can say- “Yes God is LOVE” But when the day falls and it will fall, when we are filled with sorrow, our hearts will ache, our souls will be dry- what then? When we are at our worst, will we still say God is good, God is LOVE. God is faithful.

John 13:23 “One of them, the disciple, whom Jesus LOVED, was reclining next to Him” (NIV) I am God’s beloved. He has come to wrap His arms around me. He has come to wrap me in LOVE. I am held, carried, wrapped, wanted, cherished, LOVED, by the One, who is LOVE.  What does all of this mean? It means, I am reclining with the Almighty- I am not alone. I will never be alone.

Romans 8:28 “For all things work for the good of those who LOVE him and are called according His purpose.” There is that word again- LOVE. To define this, first we must believe God is good and know God is LOVE.

Do you think that God’s goodness is measured by suffering in your life? So, when you are suffering then God isn’t good? Do you measure God’s love by how difficult life has become? God must not LOVE me enough because life is hard. God’s faithfulness: by each and every disappointment, questioning then God’s faithfulness to us. Is it hard as we watch life unfold before us and when we look at someone else’s life seeming so much smoother than our own? We see their life and think, it’s been so smooth, and free of pain- why can’t my life be that way?  Why do I have to endure these hardships? Or what happens when you start back down a road, a road you have seen before and fear starts to ignite in us because those messages start flying back into our heads. Those messages are like an internal explosion with a recorder just replaying them over and over again. And when you find yourself entwined in it, you lose sight of the truth. We all do it. Well, I do. I lose sight of God and listen to a loud megaphone recording in my head. The messages are all similar in some way. Some are from mean words spoken to me, some of them are drawn conclusions from the words spoken to me and some are just implanted messages that I struggle to escape from.  These messages have become so imbedded into my mind, that I have to be constantly on guard of my mind. I can’t lose sight of God because when I do the megaphone starts blasting. God is the still small voice in my head. God is LOVE.  God is Faithful. God is Good.

Suffering, unexpected tragedy, these moments do not mean He has forgotten you, or that He is unfaithful to you, or that you are just a number to God. Suffering is never for nothing. Suffering is placed to rescue, transform and deliver us. Our God is LOVE and He Values holiness above temporary happiness. He wants eternal joy.  He wants us because when you get warped into this vicious cycle, you need only cry out. ‘Daddy, Daddy, can you hear me” “Abba Father” Recline with the Almighty, Crawl into the lap of your Savior, allow Him to wrap His arms around you to embrace you. I can’t go into this place with arms crossed. I mean, I can, but I wouldn’t suggest it. I wish I had a sense of what a father’s arms of rescue, safety, security felt like to help me within this process… for me all I have is the embrace of the men God has blessed me with who have embraced me. I know that need to feel something tangible. Something that can be etched into your mind and heart. And while I can imagine what it’s like to run to a father, crawl into their lap and be embraced and feel the LOVE from their heart transfer to me, I have no memory of any sort of embrace. So, what do I do? I fall to my knees, lay face down on my floor and pray. Somedays, I fall to my knees, lay face down and wrap this soft grey blanket around me to imitate what that wrapped embrace of LOVE can feel like. I have to imagine. I have to lay. I have to pray. I have to recite God’s word.

“The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lay down in green pastures. He leads me besides quiet waters. He restores my soul. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death. I will fear no evil , for He is with me. The rod and staff they comfort me. He prepares a table before me in the presence of my enemies. you anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows. Surely your goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever” Psalm 23

“I have loved you with an everlasting love“

I have fought my whole life and I have fought hard. It’s not that I can’t be LOVED or that I can’t accept LOVE. It’s that- well, all I have is excuses. I learned no one person was in my court, on my side, or had my back. And because this was the message I learned, I put up walls, and I think it might take more than marching around my heart for those walls to come crumbling down. And some seasons in my life the top layer will start crumbling down, meanwhile I am building it back up. So this LOVE thing, it’s real, it’s hard, it’s tough for me. One second, I could crave a hug, and then the moment comes and I am like “Yeah, No I am good” I am sure there are those people out there, that know me and are nodding their heads in agreement. I think their are a few confident people, who are waiting for the walls around my heart to come crumbling down. One dad like character texted me once and said “I’m sure you will crack open at some point and I will be there for you with a big hug and hold you for as long as you need” but just when he thinks it will happen- nope there I am building it back up. Me crack open? God has a lot of work to do in me.

LOVE…LOVE… God. The God who sees me. Genesis 16:13 ” You are the God , who sees me” Sometimes God has to take us into the wilderness. Each of our wildernesses are different. But it is here in the wilderness that God can get us alone, quiet our hearts, grab our attention, and shift our thinking. He wants to LOVE us. He wants to work in me. He will have His hands full, just saying. But there is nothing more I want than to be refined by my Father. To be refined by the God who sees me. So perhaps I will crack open at some point.

LOVE.LOVE God. I am engraved in His palm, even when I am at my worst. He is faithful to me, even when I am not faithful to Him. He is good to me, even when I am not good to Him. He comes looking for me, when I am trying to hide from Him. I am His beloved, even when I am choosing to sit in a recliner, arms folded, and pouting. He works things out for my good because He LOVES me despite my brokenness. What a God I serve! Why do I ever doubt Him. Why do I ever question His goodness. God is good. God is faithful. God is Love.