The well: it’s the place you sit on the steps of your soul, in the deep place that nobody goes. It’s the place you sit and talk to God on your knees before Him. You kneel before God, laying down everything you have and allow God to fill every part of you.

Moses had a moment at the well. Some refer to it as his burning bush moment, but it’s also his well moment. Moses tells God “who am I that I should go, (I am a murder)” Paraphrased. But isn’t that us? Don’t we tell God we can’t do something because this “thing” has defined us? When Moses asks who shall I say sent me , if they ask? God says “I AM” The I AM translates to be this: I will be all that you need me to be when you need me to be all that you need.

Isn’t that God? Jesus when he looked out and saw the storm coming and the disciples struggling… couldn’t Jesus have just spoken and calmed the storm with just a gesture, or His voice? Did he really have to walk over to them, which was seeing Jesus walk on water! Which by the way was amazing! But why did Jesus walk over to them instead of speaking? Jesus isn’t just interested in fixing all the thorns that sting, rip or infect us. Jesus is working to meet us at the well on the steps of your soul, where nobody goes to sit and speak to you, in order that you change the way you think of yourself and your life. And isn’t that the base of it all? We avoid going to the well. We avoid it because, its at the well that tears may flow freely, and the stream of all the definitions of who we are sits. It’s at our well that we see our thorns.

Three times Paul asked God to take this thorn from him. And each time God said no, my grace is sufficient. The unremovable thorn is what keeps us running to the Father. And my unremovable thorns is what creates in me a spiritual intimacy because I am running a race back to the Father every time the thorn tries to define me. God loves me too much to remove my thorns at anytime but the right time. And trust me waiting for God’s timing, processing through, or standing firm on God’s foundation through the process is at times unbearable. The process is sticky, uncomfortable, and sometimes gut wrenchingly painful, BUT it’s the exact preparation I need to handle the blessing God has for me.

So when the day awakens me and I look at myself in the mirror and I see the thorns in me, which by the way could make me look like a porcupine because its a lot of thorns. I have to stop and say “God wants me transformed, not paralyzed in fear. God doesn’t want me to shrink into the enemies hands, but rather rise my heart and mind to God” I have to say I am enough, God is my supply, He is who fills me. I have to fall before God. I have to meet Him at the well. I have to treasure the blessings he has bestowed upon me. Because when I focus my life on my loss, my thorns, it will isolate my heart and in that isolation is when Satan creeps into me. And somedays, the feelings of feeling like an orphan child, the loss of Cameron, the abuse, the rape, the things that beat at the door of my heart can truly beat me down. I can look at those definitions of me, and forget how God sees me. Despite my misspoken words far too often, my jealousy at times, my insecurities, or my broken pieced heart- the God of the universe chose me. He chose to use me and place me here. He chose not to with His voice speak and fix my thorns, but rather come to me grab my hand and take me on an adventure. He came to walk me to the well to meet Him. And I can be like Moses, and say I can’t because I am not good enough, I am not ready, I am not a good enough Christian, I am not perfect enough, or I am too broken, Lord, use another broken person, more perfect than me. Yet, God isn’t expecting perfection from me. He just wants me to consistently, be surrendered to His will. The well is my place. The well is where I meet God. The well is where God fills my brokenness and it’s where I lay my will down before Him. It’s a place where God restores Himself to me. And it is the place where I can sit and know it is well with my soul. Even though, my thorns may  try to distract me, His grace is sufficient for me.