^“It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” (Deuteronomy 31:8)

“And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:20b)

God is with me now and always. There are days I wake up and wonder. It’s those cold mornings when I awake, and the sun hasn’t appeared, and I make my way to find the warmth of my coffee to sit with you, God. Life can look bleak; it can look lonely and even dark sometimes. And I can wonder where you are. The vulnerability of my soul is captured within you as we sit on the steps of soul. When I want to run away from you, you are there. When I want to escape the world and dash all the obstacles coming my way, you call me to sit and be still. Oh God, we will always be together. I may roll my eyes at you; I may tell you this life of mine is too complicated. I may even tell you that you don’t know what’s best for me- Yet you are the sovereign God, who holds all of me within your palm. These years of change bring me to one place. The steps of my soul, the place I struggle to put myself. But you lure me in with patience. This life can feel like a constant thorn that grows and divides inside of me to create even more thorns, and my stubbornness prevents me from allowing healing. Healing creates a place where the damage of the thorns can no longer grow roots. And yet, in the stillness of the darkness, I hear, “I will be here” How can I ever question it? Yet, I do some days. I find myself trapped with the tape recorder in my head that replays the false messages. So, I hold on tight because when I am grasping onto you, I am taking hold of hope. So, as I walk through the valley of it all, you are there. And we meet again in the place where my fear must meet the God I know. And I must lay down before you every thorn and stop running away from the steps where you sit patiently waiting for me to sit long enough. The steps of my soul scare me; the vulnerability it exposes ignites the desire to flee. Fleeing is easier. Fleeing you is impossible. You are the God who sees me, the God who loves me just because. You love the girl who can’t quite grasp the concept. Yet, you still love me. You haven’t asked me to grasp it; you have just asked me to accept it.

“And we know that all things work for the good of those who love Him and are called according to his purposes. “(Romans 8:28). Sitting with you on the steps of my soul every morning- as uncomfortable as it can be for me is the place we meet. It is the place where you remind me, “I will be here always.”