The still small voice. It’s God. I had a woman tell me once “if its odd, its God” yep I can see that. I find God repeats himself to me, I can’t imagine why? Perhaps, its because I ignore it, think He is crazy, and somedays I literally say out loud, sorry I can’t hear you? Most of the time when I say it, it is because what I am hearing is a bit far fetched. I started recording my life. I have this journal where I jot down the dates and what happened. Some of it is just simple stuff like things I notice that I am grateful for, like a random text from a good friend, or how thankful I was for electricity because we were out for days. Other times God does weird stuff, like it was a foggy day on my drive to work and I said in the car to God how this is how I feel my life is… a big fog cloud, it would be really nice if you cleared it. What happened- the fog disappeared. Other drivers could thank me for that blessing! I went onto tell God- that wasn’t what I meant. But what happened within the fog cloud and the dates that followed its kind of…. well odd. March 18th, I texted a friend, who many who don’t know our lives think we are sisters- not sure why. Although, she is like a sister to me. Anyway, she has been on my tail for a great too many years about me going back to school- she is nuts too! I told her she is nuts! I am to old and I just don’t think its for me. Anyway, I texted her to pray about me possibly going back to school- yeah- like what was I thinking! Two weeks later, I had the fog experience. two weeks after that I was ecstatic to be able to go to TJ Maxx and I literally entered the building, after directing a grumpy lady to the back of the line- ya sorry not cuts. I entered got to the back corner and the power goes out- gee thanks God. Before the manager came to me in a panic I heard God- telling me how hard it is to see in the darkness. Yep, I told Him, its a good thing I have a light on my phone. Something tells me He wasn’t humored by me.

I have come to realize the moments where I want to take my kids and knock sense into them, He (God) perhaps may feel the same way about me- I don’t know, its just a thought. This time God moved a little quicker the next day, I was reading a book and I kid you not the words read about some old lady- and she was old, 74! This 74 year old not only got a degree, she wrote a book. Two things off my life to do list! I reread the sentences a few times, not convinced that was actually what I read or that she was actually 74 years old. As I read that I could hear God saying- “You don’t believe in coincidences” eye roll- yep I don’t. I literally put the book down and was refusing to read any further in this book recommended for me to read by a dear pastor/friend of mine. I am not stubborn, not at all. As if this wasn’t odd enough, I still told God I needed more proof this is the direction, He wants me to go. I get an email from the community college I had applied to 6-months earlier- why- I have no clue? They are telling me to do 100 things, one of which was to complete some form. I went on and completed it. I should side note prior to moving to Tennessee, I had contemplated finishing the two classes at LMC to finish off my associates, but didn’t. This email I got from the Tennessee Community college informed me I was eligible for a scholarship because I was an independent, with no degree. God stop! What?! Another friend asked me “Is this proof enough” As much as I wanted to say no, I knew the answer was yes. Really God? Really?

A few weeks later, God had kept impressing upon me the name of this woman- Kelly. I met her at Chrysalis (spiritual weekend), when I was in high school. We served together, her a table leader, me an assistant table leader and then again we served together in the prayer room for the entire weekend. I argued back and forth with God, again telling Him he was nuts! I can’t remember how Kelly and I lost touch but it was around the time I got married! Long time ago. I even googled to make sure she hadn’t unexpectedly died or something. She is older than me 🙂 But I finally relented and began to write this letter

“Dear Kelly,

God keeps placing you on my mind and I am not even sure why or if you will even remember me….”

I went on to tell her what a true blessing she has been in my life and in so many remarkable ways she was the founding block of teaching me how to pray. Others may have deepened this in my life, but she was part of setting the foundation pieces.

In my letter, I included my email and phone- for quicker response time. Over a week had passed and nothing- On Monday morning, I chatted with God- and perhaps had a little attitude about how He had me write this letter and I got no response- like why on Earth did you have me send this?? That afternoon, I went to get the mail and I pulled out all the junk mail, and out fell this card- I immediately recognized the handwriting- Kelly always had beautiful handwriting. She sent me a card! Really God? Kelly wrote some beautiful words that I carried in my car for the week. She stated what a blessing it was to receive my letter and its no coincidence of the arrival of the letter because it matched her morning devotion message on “blessings”. She of course included the printed devotion for me in the card. Yes, I needed that proof. Standing on the steps of my front porch, I wasn’t sure if I should laugh or cry because God pretty much confirmed He is in control and I am not even when I try to add my own touch of phone and email- God had another plan. Kelly’s final words were: “Thank-you for following the nudge of the Holy Spirit, keep it up”

Have I picked up the book that I was reading? No, but I plan too. I picked up another copy of it to send to a friend. I found it at a used book store. A woman named “Ann” wrote on the inside cover to her friend “Teresa” about how life changing the book was, adding how remarkable chapter 8 was- which I haven’t read yet. I just wonder how many more times I will set it back down because I don’t like what God is saying to me in it.

I have read other books by this same author, where he says “God is predictably unpredictable…Much like a wild goose, the Holy Spirit cannot be tracked or tamed…the promptings of the Holy Spirit can sometimes seem pretty pointless, but rest assured, God is working His plan. And if you chase the Wild Goose, He will take you places you never could have imagine going by paths you never knew existed. ” ~Mark Batterson But I will choose to chase the Wild Goose, to chase the Holy Spirit another day and go for another adventure.